Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
