i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
