I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
