I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
