Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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