just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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