i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
