If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
