the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
