yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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