they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize