so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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