This show inspires me to have sex in space
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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