we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
