I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
