Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
