Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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