i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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