Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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