Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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