If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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