I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
