i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
