2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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