cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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