ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
