I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
