i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
