Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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