just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
