I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My feet surprised me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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