i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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