I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My friends, they love my intelligence
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
MIDGETS
????
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
