Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
