You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
last night I used snow as a chaser
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
