She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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