he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
