my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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