I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
