Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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