Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i came on her dog
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
