some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
