dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
