Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
