Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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