Just cropdusted the office
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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