so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
