Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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