i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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