We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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