She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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