How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
