I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
