Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
