4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
