went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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