Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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