just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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