he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
