I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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