he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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