she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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